A Serving With The Lot: Salacious Gossip, Manic Mumbai, An Iron Chef And A Feast Of Footy

Sydney Morning Herald

Friday September 23, 2005

Doug Anderson

The Memphis Trousers

Half Hour

10.15pm, ABC: Roy and H.G., who generally concern themselves with more esoteric matters - archeology, sport and arcane discussions of human behaviour - drop down a cog or 75 to explore the fascinating world of celebrity sex secrets. H.G. Nelson, who has known Paris Hilton since she was an up-and-coming heiress and danced many a rumba with Joan Collins in the Russ Crowe salon at the fabled Hotel Rammer, is privy to outrageous gossip not even the editors of New Idea have been appraised of. Not for the squeamish.

Executive Decision

8.30pm, Nine: Koran-quoting terrorists hijack a 747 bound for Washington, and threaten to kill everyone aboard unless their spiritual leader is released from custody. But Kurt Russell, who is a passenger, suspects the fundamentalists are planning to wipe out the entire eastern seaboard of the US with a deadly nerve toxin. Enter anti-terrorist commandos led by Lieutenant-Colonel Austin Travis (Steven Seagal) for a midair encounter with the jet. Halle Berry is in there somewhere, too, and while the plausibility of the story is highly questionable and the characters paper thin, the action is seriously energetic.

Lonely Planet: Mumbai

7.30pm, SBS: Asha Gill lobs into Mumbai to avail herself of the wonderfully raunchy choreography that makes Bollywood movies so ... so ... er, whatever they are. She meets a traditional flagellant, gazes at colourful itinerants before they disappear forever and ventures into the infamous Chor Bazaar where local identity Thomas Cherian shows her a collection of ancient Indian erotica. The best thing about the program is its structure which employs the links between degrees of separation as a conduit for exploration.

FOR THE WEEKEND

In Siberia Tonight

9.15pm Sat, SBS: Viewers who remain in a state of entrancement after the weekly encounter with The Iron Chef (8.30pm) might care to attend the curious machinations of Steve "Sandman" Abbott's variety program. Steve's mum, Evelyn, will reveal more mouth-watering recipes and the fabulous Kransky Sisters will perform another chart screamer. Viewers still in a fit condition to operate a telephone after witnessing Marcello Maio's one-man band should stand poised to enter a competition in which the prize is a seven-course meal, cooked in Sydney's Galileo Restaurant at the Observatory Hotel by none other than the Iron Chef himself, Sakai. Also on hand tonight, Thirsty Merc, Noeline Brown and the DJ Sympathy Orchestra. Eat yer heart out, Rove!

2005 AFL Grand Final

8am, Ten: The game starts at the MCG around 2.30pm and, after 61/2 hours of revving up by anyone who ever strapped on a boot, could prove something of an anticlimax. But Ten loves a big occasion - like the (insert sponsor's name) Melbourne Cup or this eagerly awaited match between the Sydney Swans and West Coast Eagles. Too much is never enough.

Sunday

9am Sun, Nine: Men and women who served with an Australian peacekeeping mission in Rwanda relate the awful legacy of events they witnessed at Kibeho during the genocide of 1995. Many are smashed psychologically - not so much by what they saw but by the fact they were under orders not to intervene or try to prevent the slaughter of innocent civilians. Plenty of the peacekeepers suffer post-traumatic stress disorder but, because the operation is not deemed to have been a combat situation, they are ineligible to receive either monetary compensation or adequate treatment for persistent psychiatric problems. This is a disturbing report about people charged with serving their country's interests and then rubbished by the system they represent. Undoubtedly Senator Robert Hill will enjoy it.

© 2005 Sydney Morning Herald

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